Slumber Party for 14

We had 13 people sleeping in our house for the last two nights. (14 if you include Hector P. Valenti, the neighbor's hamster.)

Nothing makes me happier than having guests.

Except this cake, which is chocolate with butter cream and ganache. (I made it twice this week.)



We are considering registering our house with the city and officially turning it into a Bed and Breakfast. But it would be free of charge and would only accept guests who are charming, witty, gracious and very hungry.

Most of our guests have now left and we're down to a mere 8 people tonight (9 counting Hector) and we made everyone eat at least one black eyed pea to ensure good luck throughout the year.



Happy new year!

Jury Duty Dooty

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I was actually excited about my jury duty dooty. I saw it as a break from children. My children, that is.

I woke up bright and early on Monday morning and left the house with my book under my arm and a smile on my face. I even wore a little lipstick for extra credibility.

Seven hours later that smile and lipstick had faded and I was stuck in a windowless room with a microwave and group of people who kept making popcorn. There was nothing close to walk to during our frequent 15 minute breaks and I was bored.

At times I was too bored to even read. (Even though I really like my book.)

Finally they called my name and I was requested to report to a court room. Once in the courtroom they actually made us raise our right hands and promise to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

So help me God, I was freakin' out. The judge asked us to sit down and let him know if there were reasons why we couldn't serve. I had prepared my list of excuses in my head. But when it came time, I couldn't say a word 'cause I swore I'd tell the truth. (If you just mouth the words does it still count?)

We even saw the defendant (who looked quite quilty, by the way). He had done something naughty with a gun.

And the worst part? I had to report back the following morning.

After 5 more hours in the jury assembly room the next day, it was finally announced they decided to settle "our case" without a jury. Whoo-hoo! Victory lap around the room. I came home to my yelling kids and never felt so alive! This is were I belong.

Favorite quote from my jury duty evesdropping:
Older Man "Are you still seeing that special girl? The one with the hepatitis?"
Younger Man "Trying not to."

It's Too Painful To Talk About

However, you need to know about this cake.

I had to make this cake tonight. It's called the Sweet and Salty Cake
and I've been obsessing about it for days.



It was one of the most difficult cakes I've ever made. Or maybe my kids were the most difficult they've ever been. Or maybe it was just Milo.

While I was distracted with baking he "cleaned" our filthy basement toilet (the "prison potty," we call it) using my kitchen tongs and his entire body. When I found him he was soaked to the bone with dirty toilet water. (Thanks for saving the environment, Clay, by not flushing.)

I gave him a bath in the kitchen sink so I could:

A. Keep my eye on him
B. Clean him up
C. Occupy him while I finished baking

Not 10 minutes out of the bath he fell down the basement stairs, most likely trying to get back to the toilet to finish his cleaning job.



And, yes, those are blood stains on my shirt. The little guy cut his lip pretty badly.

Yup...

And the cake? It's the worst looking cake I've ever made. (See above photo.) But boy was it yummy. There isn't a slice left.

How I Plan to Get Out of Jury Duty

I have jury duty starting next week. Don't they know I'm a very, very busy woman?

I have cookies to bake and raffle tickets to buy! I also need to make a layer cake every other day. I understand it's my civic duty but here is how I'm planning to get myself excused:

1. Show up in a costume, most likely involving Goldie's tutu.

2. Declare that I'm a physic and I can save all of us a whole lot of time.

3. Nod toward the juror next to me and mouth "guilty" while secretly pointing at him/her.

4. Bring Milo with me.

5. Eat Sunchips out of their new compostable bag in the courtroom.

6. Raise my hand and ask if anyone has actually been convicted for shooting JR.

Wish me luck!

Yakivegas

We just got home from a fabulous weekend trip to visit friends in Yakima. For those of you not from Washington, Yakima is the Palm Springs of Washington. (I didn't make that up. There's a sign off the freeway that says it.)

When I attended Central, we'd drive to Yakima for dinners at Red Robin. (I have not always had the sophisticated palette you see before you now) and shopping at Nordstrom. (That one hasn't changed.) The Yakima Nordstrom, however, has since closed down. But the Red Robin is still standing.

Here are some shots our friend Aileen took this morning. There was a snow storm on Saturday that kept us there for an extra day. Apparently, Clay brought hair gel for only one day.



And I love this arty shot of Milo's reflection in a puddle:

What I Am Busy Doing

Baking hanukkah cookies

Watching this video which stars our house.

Reading this article every other day.

Buying raffle tickets

Seeing this film

And you? Tell me something aboout yourself.

What I'm Thankful For

Healthy, happy, blah, blah, blah...

What I'm really thankful for is George and Goldie have school tomorrow morning.

Amen.

A Week of Extremes

We spent the last two weeks in Hawaii and returned home on Monday. Here are some photos from this week in Seattle and Hawaii.

Can you tell which photo was taken where?





Here is a picture of my favorite bakery in the world. Yes, the whole entire world.




This last photo was taken in Seattle at Thanksgiving dinner. Clay was offering Milo some chewed up turkey and Milo blew a raspberry at him.

Out of Office Reply

Sorry for the radio silence, we are clearly up to no good. No access to a computer, just an iPad which is difficult for blog posts.

A few things you should know:

Clay is now 47. That's 15 years older than when I met him. A card or a phone call wouldn't kill you, would it?

Milo is a parrot. He mimics everything we say and it's funnier than something really funny although I'm not sure what that is.

George told me I had big legs. Or at least they looked big underwater.

Goldie, or the girl formerly known as Goldie, has changed her name. I heard her playing with a little girl in the pool and the girl was calling her Ofer. Apparently she's also from Israel. This is good information to have.

More later, gotta cuddle Ofer.

"I Don't Have Curly Hair!"

George: "Is it bad to break a promise?"

Me: "Yes."

George: In the most earnest of voices, "Even with a stuffed animal?"

Me: "Where are you going with this?"

George: "I promised Froggy (his stuffed frog) that I'd bring him in for the next show-'n'-tell at school."

Me: "I think in this case it's okay to break a promise."
___________________________________

Goldie: "Moooooooooooooooommy!!!!!"

Me: Out of breath from running up two flights of stairs and into her bedroom, "Yes Goldie."

Goldie: "Is it wake up time yet?"

Me: "No, it's 8:30 p.m. Go to sleep."

I think she needs to meet Jon Auer. (Just skip to the end of that post, unless you are bored, which I am assuming you are.)

___________________________________

Lastly, if you see Goldie, it's best not to talk to her about her hair. She severely dislikes the topic. Yesterday at Nordstrom a sales lady walked up to her and said, "Oh, I love your curly hair." Goldie's response was a polite growl and her standard "I don't have curly hair."

The sales lady didn't let it go. She tried to sort of run her fingers through Goldie's hair, which anyone should know is a physical impossibility. And this made Goldie even angrier and she jerked her head, which resulted in the lady getting her ring stuck in Goldie's curls and Goldie crying as the lady fumbled around trying to get her hand detached.

The sales lady lost the sale and nearly lost her ring. She felt badly and quickly ran and got Goldie a pink balloon.

This helped, but Goldie was still pissed.

A Few Notes on Halloween

George went as an adorable Harry Potter. Since he looks nothing like me, is it okay if I call him "adorable?"



One of the moms in George's class made these awesome teeth. Of course George wanted NOTHING to do with them. After all, they were made from *gasp* an apple and almonds. Way too exotic.


Here is George's entire class sitting on our front steps. They all came trick or treatin' at our house Friday afternoon and came inside for cookies!



If you look closely, it appears as though George is flipping off the camera. Maybe he's sick of having his picture taken.

More Halloween pictures in the next few days. We had over 1,000 trick or treaters and my hands are too tired to type from giving out all that candy.

All Good Ideas

The next time you misplace your phone and you are home alone go to this website and type in your number and it will call you. Of course I tried it, silly.


If you come trick or treatin' at my house on Sunday this is what you may get in your bag.



Maybe we'll even squirt some blood (ketchup) on it first!

Clay thinks I need to let you know I didn't actually make them yet so the above picture is lifted from a little thing I like to call the internets.

I also love this apartment but can't really figure out how it can be kid friendly.

That is all I have for you, go to bed. Or work. Or softball practice. Scram.

p.s. if you are still hanging around here, this made me laugh out loud.

Someone pictured in the wheelbarrow above sneezed and a booger flew out of their nose and onto their sleeve. This particular family member looked at the debris and said the following.

"Even though it's my favorite kind of booger I'm not going to eat it."

Dear reader, do you have a favorite kind of booger?

Crazy Artists With Facial Hair

Have you ever thought that Goldie looks a LOT like Salvador Dali?
No? Hmmm... Well I guess I hadn't either until yesterday.

Now I'm wondering how I never noticed it before.

(Goldie's is the second image.)

Things that Made Me Laugh and/or Cry

Here's 10 things that made me laugh and/or cry since my last post, in no particular order.

1) This man (who shall remain nameless), who ate dinner at our house and when dinner was gone drank all our booze. When the booze was gone he went home to sleep and then showed up the next morning asking for a bowl of cereal (corn flakes).



2) John Roderick at The Triple Door singing Ultimatum.

3) Harry Potter



4) The walkers from the Three Day Walk for breast cancer on Capitol Hill.

5) The earwig that bit me on my neck while I was laying in bed.

6) A perfect cake.

7) This beautiful tuna with stone fruit chutney and jasmine rice in my kitchen.



8) Clay explaining to me the reason Goldie has all that curly hair. (To hide her horns, of course.)

9) The friend who asked if I have a dial-up connection after he saw my email address had an AOL extension. (It's been my main address since 1995. And no, we don't have dial up.)

10) And this, which I can't get enough of.

We Spotted an Owl

This morning on a walk to get coffee Clay and I heard crows going nutty toward the south end of our block. We assumed there was a squirrel teasing the birds and kept walking.

Hours later when Goldie and I went for a walk we heard the same birds still freakin' out.

Imagine our surprise when we looked up and saw an owl.



Owl keep you notified if we see him again.

Taters For Tots!

Remember when we put together the Vertical potato box with our friend Jack? (Refresh your memory here.)

Yesterday we finally harvested the potatoes. Being of the Jewish persuasion, I can't say this with any real authority, but I'm pretty sure harvesting pototoes is more fun than 1,000 Easter Egg Hunts.

Here's a glimps of the great bounty we harvested from the good earth:


And here's farmer George washing that bounty:


While harvesting, I had an epiphany and decided I was ready to sell the house, move to the county, plant the north 40 with potatoes and live off the fat of the land. And then our friend Sharon sized up our bounty and estimated our cost (once you consider, labor, materials, compost, etc.) at approximately $68.47 per potato.

Perhaps we'll hold off on that move for a while. I gotta call my real estate agent.

The Maker of Trouble

Our life was much simpler before Milo learned to walk:

More Quotes and Pictures

We still don't know a whole lot about Kindergarten, but here is what we do know:

"My P.E. teacher is named Mr. Beard. The funny part is that he doesn't even have a beard."

And,

Grandpa LaLa was here for about 2 weeks. I'd like to post some before and after pictures of our bathroom.

Here's before:



And after!:



Thanks, Grandpa LaLa!

We did get a new deck, though. Here is LaLa working very hard so his son has a place to eat this winter. Alone.

After all my protests I'll go ahead and admit I'm happy with the results of their hard work.



Notice the pretty green he painted the garage?

I hope you are recovering from your relaxing trip to Seattle, we miss you already!

Look Who Started Kindergarten!

Here's George sitting at his desk this morning.



And here he is again after a very fun first day.



Anyone who asked him about his day got a standard response, which was the following.

"I didn't get a time out."

The New Deck

Sorry for the neglect, we've been busy, busy, busy.

We've had guests from Yakima and Grandpapa Lala arrived yesterday. We also hosted a real life food critic for dinner, which is a crazy story good enough for a blog post later.

And I've "needed" to bake a challah every other day and make cookies or cupcakes on the other days. Some days I bake both just to make up for the non-baking weeks in NY.

Clay's about to build us a new deck, which I happen to believe is a terrible idea since summer is done, gone and finished. I'd like for him to instead install the "new" but "hardly used" toilet I purchased on Craig's List and re-tile the junky bathroom upstairs.

No, says Clay. We need a new deck to get us through the dark winter months.

Clay is going to be eating a lot of lonely meals on his deck this winter.

George has had about half a dozen hilarious quotes, many of which I've written on scraps of paper. Here are three of my favorites.

George: "Daddy, are dogs that talk and do karate real?"
Clay: "No."
George: "Good, cause I just had a dream where one was trying to kill me."

Setting: George is in the backseat of the car and spots a bus with a picture of Bart Simpson on the side.

George: The Simpson's aren't appropriate for kids 'cause they use words like fart."
Me: "Really? Have you see the show?" I ask this wondering if my mom let them see it at her house.
George: "No, but I've been focused on it for years."

George: "You know what my biggest problem is?"
Me: "No, what?"
George: "I can't fly."

We're Home

And I feel sick about it.

Being home means I probably will not have chocolate brioche with sea salt from The Farm ever again.

At least not today.

I've Made a Horrible Mistake

First let me tell you how sorry I am to have inconvenienced you with the previous NY dessert suggestions. I hope the unencumbered of you didn't actually get on an airplane yet to visit some of my suggested places.

I was wrong.

Blue Marble Ice Cream is without exception THE best ice cream I've ever eaten.

The End. Period. End of post.

I can die now and know it will all be okay.

Chelsea (Not Clinton, the Other One)

I'm tired after our full day, but wanted to share three pictures from today.

Goldie and our friend Maia frolicked in the water at the Chelsea Waterside Park.



Clay ran into Sarah Palin at a gallery.



And on the new High Line in Chelsea the following entrepreneur was selling $3 Popsicles in delicious flavors such as grilled peach and watermelon something or other (maybe onion). He was also making hand shaved ice with a ped egg and had a huge line. After my egg sandwich store fails I am going to make homemade Popsicles and sell them for $2.50. and make a fortune.



Good night!

No Thanks, Snoopy

On the way to the "egg sandwich store" there are two great signs, one of which happens to be posted on the store itself. The other is on the fence of the lovely community garden next to our row house.





New Yorkers have such a way with words.

I Think I Can. I Think I Can...

Now that Milo has been walking for nearly a week, he's very determined to show off his skills. He walked from our house to the restaurant at the end of the block yesterday. He fell on his bottom about 18 times, but the little guy did it! And he looked very proud of himself when he reached the end.




We are proud of him also, but we can't help thinking he has developed a bit of an attitude. Maybe it's the way he accepts phone calls during dinner, or the fact that he wears sunglasses at restaurants. I don't know. He just seems different.



And speaking of different, here's Clay with our friend Nate. We met Nate and Laura and their wonderful daughter Eva for dinner on Saturday. They are friends from way back and it was great seeing them again.

Cookies and Lamb

Sorry it's been so long. We've been too busy eating.

First things first. Look who we found in a park a few stops away from our house. Can you say babysitters?

Clay and I had a mid-day date at a Cuban place while all three kiddos got a much-deserved break from us.



Remember when I told you to get on a plane and head to the ice cream shop in DUMBO? Well I was wrong. Very, very wrong. This place is actually better. Can't you tell by Goldie's expression? The moment we get back to Seattle I'm going to walk directly into the kitchen, preheat the oven and attempt to make their pumpkin whoopie pies with cream cheese filling. Okay, I'll put the kids to bed first. Then I am going to start making up for lost time.



It is called One Girl Cookies and it is located on Dean Street, just take the F train to the Bergen stop.


If the cookie shop I plan to open goes under I am going to reopen it as an egg sandwich shop. Look at this beauty. This is what $2.50 buys you in NY. Oh egg sandwich, I could never stay mad at you.


Here is my almost-kindergarten boy climbing something cool in one of the fabulous Imagination Playgrounds. I'm pretty sure my cookie shop will have one of these inside. I'll have a good insurance plan.


After our Cuban meal, Clay and I saw this guy pushing a shopping cart of dead lambs down the street. I just want my lamb-loving friend Nancy to think of this the next time she orders in a restaurant. Thank goodness the children were with the Smoosh girls.