Hope?

Happy Halloween!

Clay couldn't figure out who was who.
Can you?
Watch the whole thing for a good laugh.

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/jov9YP2veoAT6fTV

You may have to cut and paste the link into your browser...

Bikinis

Goldie left the house this cold autumn morning in a bikini and clogs. At least I convinced her to put on a polar fleece for her walk to the car.



We've been too busy to get ourselves to a pumpkin patch this year so imagine my shock and delight when we pulled into the Whole Foods parking lot and found this mini pumpkin patch. By this point in the day she agreed to put some clothing over the bikini.

Oh, and this is her last night eating a chicken leg... in a bikini.

Header- This One Is For You

My dear sweet friend "Header" just sent me an email requesting a blog update.

I thought I'd share what exactly we were all doing when the "request" came in.




I'm baking chocolate peanut butter chip cookies.


Milo is eating waxed paper, which is a very good baby toy.



Goldie is mixing "cherry berries."



George is playing "Cherry, berry factory." It involves soap and water and mess.
He claims they are toasty and warm once we take them out of the oven. He may be thinking of my de-licious cookies which just finished baking.

Update: Goldie peed in her underpants and now I'm mopping up urine off the kitchen floor. I thought about taking a picture but decided not to embarrass her even more.

I lead a very glamorous life.

And Milo, aka: Smilo, just fell asleep in my arms while I was typing. Ahhhh...



What are you doing?

Fall Update

Milo is working on mastering the raspberry and making good progress. I love that little tongue of his! Above is Milo in the excersaucer (thanks Julie!). Goldie or George put a halloween mask on him. If that weren't enough Goldie covered Milo in stickers today while riding in the backseat of the car. Imagine my surprise when we got to our destination and he looked like an airmail package. Poor guy.

Mike says the A-Kinase Anchoring Protein project is coming along nicely. (Translation: he's definitely working for the CIA.)

Clay's got another painting project and is continuing to ruin his clothing. Grrrr...

George made an awesome fort in the basement. It is with the box from his bunk bed and various blankets. If you come over you can watch "the climbing show," which seems to consist solely of him climbing around on it. I'll keep you posted on this.

Both G and G are so excited for Halloween. We've just learned our street is going to be closed to traffic. I'm thinking we may need more candy than last year. (Last year we gave out 660 pieces!)


George with black fangs.

I ate an entire Rainbow Rumble (three eggs with cheese, corn and mushrooms.) hash browns and two slices of toast) from Coastal Kitchen yesterday morning, a 16oz London Fog Tea Latte and two oatmeal cookies and was still hungry. I felt like The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
http://www.amazon.com/Very-Hungry-Caterpillar-Eric-Carle/dp/0399226907
By the way, Coastal Kitchen is no good. It wasn't even yummy.

My mom and dad lost their cat Charlie. A pet detective, not Ace Ventura, told my mom to pee in a jar and pour it in the driveway and the cat will come home. I was going to nominate my mom for Crazy Person of the Month. But then it actually worked! The cat returned that night. (I'm soliciting nominations for CPOTM, leave a comment with your crazy person's name.)

Clay and I had a date night with babysitting and actually met and spoke with Michael Chabon (the writer of Kavilier and Clay) at length. I think we both have a crush on him.


We visited the Bookmobile today.

George makes a magic potion in the sink upstairs called "Tummy Ache Potion". If you come over, you can try it. Rumor has it it actually works.

And if you do come over you'll have to take a somewhat slow tour of our light fixtures. We like to show guests each light fixture and give them the history of each one. Sorry, it is a package deal. First a tummy ache and then the tour.

The Ultimate Insult

Goldie: "Mommy you have poop in your head."

Geesh.

Excuse me?

Louis, the cute little boy who lives next door made this comment today while tapping Milo on the back of the head.

"My Uncle Adam's dog is cuter than this guy."

That must be some dog!

Lolipop Rainbow Cookies

Grandma LaLa, aka: Grandma Jan, brought us this recipe when she visited this week.

We made them today and they actually taste really good.

Email me for the recipe and instructions, I'm too lazy to type it in right now.

Two Pictures

George said: "Take a picture of you washing my lunchbox."
So I did.


I said: "Look at this BEAUTIFUL fish I made for dinner." You actually eat the skin which is chock full o' Omega 3s and other good stuff.

Too bad I didn't think of taking the photo until halfway through the meal. It's a classified recipe from my friend Leora, who is writing a cookbook. If I like you, you'll get a copy of her book for your birthday, Hanukkah or Christmas 2010. If I don't like you'll get Clay's leftover salmon skin.

Joke of the Day

Q- What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A- Nacho Cheese!

Q- What do you call a baby that's not yours?

The 2nd Best Day

The 2nd Best Day of George's life was today. (The first was the day he learned to ride a bike.)

Goldie was absolutely freaked out and Milo slept through it all.

The Mystery Splatter

Beware all who enter this story, it is not one for the squeamish or easily disturbed.

Sunday night we hosted a dinner party with some folks from our block. I made chili and cut up some avocado, onions and other toppings for garnish. Clay was talking with the guys in the kitchen and suddenly the right lens of his glasses was splattered with something green. He immediately looked up, as if it had fallen from a bird. He took his glasses off and showed it to me saying "This is the weirdest thing. My glasses just had something splattered on them and I have no idea where it came from."

We were both baffled as no one was eating yet, or so we thought, as no chili had been served.

I, wanting to get to the bottom of this ASAP, picked off the biggest splatter and put it in my mouth, confirming that, yes, it was -- in fact -- avocado. Clay gave me a disgusted look and said "Did you just put that in your mouth?"

Well, the mystery lingered until tonight. We were recounting the splatter story to our friends Ashley and Nancy and simultaneously we realized the splatter must have come from the mouth of the guy whose story Clay was listening to when the mystery splatter happened. (I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth...)

I will never again do a taste test on mystery splatters, no matter how delicious they may look.

Mmmmmmm... green splatter. I could never stay mad at you.

If I had Twitter

6:30 a.m.- My beloved fitness instructor cancels Boot Camp indefinitely after almost 3 years together. I decide to wake up at 6:30 a.m. all next week and eat cupcakes in her honor.

10:11 a.m.: Stuck in traffic as University bridge opens for rich guy in yacht. George and Goldie are mesmerised by the sidewalk lifting up.

10:30 a.m.: Milo has huge blowout. Need to cut him out of his outfit to avoid getting poop in his hair and eyes -- the only unafected areas of his body.

1:00 p.m.: Locked myself in the back of the car again. Had to climb over infant carrier to get to the front seat. Lost one shoe in the process. Still at large...

2:18 p.m.: Goldie eats her first ever pumpkin seeds. Says it tastes like dirt and promptly asks for more.

3:02 p.m. George wants me to make chocolate chip cookies but without chocolate chips. I oblige and accidentally whack him in the head with a 5 lb bag of sugar.

3:30 p.m.: Cookies in oven and lots of dough and chocolate chips in bellies.

3:31 p.m.: Goldie has a blue mouth and tongue and I've discovered she's been licking craft sticks that were made in China, probably chalk full of lead and other yummy stuff. I quickly throw them away.

3:46 p.m.: George announces that when he grows up he is going to be a daddy and a monster from Monsters Inc.

3:47 p.m.: George yells from the bathroom that he and Goldie are stuffing toilet paper down the drain. And they are telling the truth.

This confirms why I don't have a Twitter account.

End of post.

New Column: Fact of the Week

On a weekly basis I clip approximately 80 combined fingernails and toenails. (And that doesn't even include Clay's.)